Funny Baby Quotes That are Cute and Adorable

Funny Baby Quotes: Babies are the cutest thing you’ll ever see in the world. It’s very endearing to look at them, and their laughter is contagious, and it quickly puts a smile on your face. However, taking care of babies can be challenging because it is a small new human beings that must be cared for.

To help parents recharge from their hard work, we’ve compiled a list of funny baby quotes that will make them laugh and relieve their stress and pressure. We have a variety of funny baby quotes that parents may remember and laugh about when things become difficult while managing life and the baby. Some days may be hard to care for the baby, while others will be easier, but it is always enjoyable to laugh at funny and silly baby quotes.

Funny Baby Quotes

“Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.” – Anne Lamott

“Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park that is.” – Anonymous

“Having one child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.” – David Frost

“24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer!” – Jodi Picoult

“A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.” – Mark Twain

“Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” – Tina Fey

“When my baby is sleeping that’s when I think, Wow. I made that.” – Maria Jose Ovalle

“Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.” – Fran Lebowitz

“Babies are always more trouble than you thought – and more wonderful.” – Charles Osgood

“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Babies are such a nice way to start people.” – Don Herold

“Perfection only exists in babies and pastries.” – Gayle Wray

“Make no mistake about why these babies are here—they are here to replace us.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.” – Maurice Johnston

“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.” – Olivia Wilde

“A toddler can do more in one unsupervised moment than most people can do all day.” – Anonymous

“Babies act out when they’re hungry, cold, tired. They do this for survival.” – Marilu Henner

“An ugly baby is a very nasty object and the prettiest is frightful.” – Queen Victoria

“When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” – Grace Allen

“Behind every mom is a basket of dirty laundry.” – Anonymous

“Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child.” – Tina Brown

“Never let your kids walk away without a hug and a kiss.” – Anonymous

“A child will fall asleep in the car five minutes before you reach your destination.” – Murphy

“Children are completely egoistic; they feel their needs intensely and strive ruthlessly to satisfy them.” – Sigmund Freud

“The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving of ways.” – Anonymous

“Like a midwife, I make my living bringing new babies into the world, except that mine are new advertising campaigns.” – David Ogilvy

Also Read:Baby Girl Quotes

Funny Baby Quotes for New Parents

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle

“I’m a walking zombie and I think I’m going to be like that for a while.” – Tiffani Thiessen

“When I tell my kids, I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is ‘Please forget. – Sarcastic Mommy4”

“When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can’t sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.” – Jimmy Fallon

“In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.” – Erma Bombeck

“The amazing thing about becoming a parent is that you will never again be your own first priority.” – Olivia Wilde

“Moms… The only people who know the true meaning of 24/7.” – Anonymous

“Don’t ever tell the mother of a newborn that her baby’s smile is just gas.” – Jill Woodhull

“Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.” – Carol Burnett

“When babies look beyond you and giggle, maybe they’re seeing angels.” – Eileen Elias Freeman

“Let her sleep, for when she wakes, she will move mountains.” – Napoleon

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” – Franklin P. Jones

“A crying baby is the best form of birth control.” – Carole Tabron

“Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.” – Carol Burnett

“Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.” – Anne Lamott

“Having children is like living in a frat house- nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

“A baby is a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.” – Ronald Knox

“You know you’re a mommy when: “A trip to the grocery store alone feels like a vacation, and a vacation feels like work.” – Sarah

“Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.” – Shannon Fife

“Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” – John Wilmot

“Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” – Bill Cosby

“Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids.” – Anonymous

“When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned.” – Marie Osmond


“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” – Leo J. Burke

“Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.” – Ambrose Bierce

“I used to be excellent. Now that I have a baby and I couldn’t tell you what day it is.” – Gwyneth Paltrow

“When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can’t sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.” – Mark Twain

“A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart til the day you die.” – Mary Mason

“Nobody tells you how all-consuming it is to be a mother—how reading goes out the window and thinking too.” – Erica Jong

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” – Lemony Snicket

Also Read: Baby Smile Quotes

Funny Baby Quotes for Instagram & Facebook Caption

Hello, I’m new here!

Baby Rules: When the sun goes down, the party starts.

You’re my favorite reason to lose sleep.

You’re so small, yet you take up my entire heart.

Little package, great big deal!

The best things in life come with stinky diapers.

There’s a new boss in the office.

You make life sweeter than a box of donuts.

Product of Netflix and chill.

Hello, my name is Trouble.

No caption needed here. Just take in the cute vibes.

We made a wish, and you came true.

No wonder I’m so cute.

I’m new here, but I kind of run this place.

Funny Quotes About Babies

“Children are our most valuable natural resource.” – Herbert Hoover

“It’s easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely.” – Anonymous


“I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.” – Robert Orben

“Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.” – Ed Howe

“Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.” – Bill Cosby

“A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” – Carl Sandburg


“Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.” – Charles Dickens

“A baby is a blank check made payable to the human race.” – Barbara Christine Seifert

“A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Grandmas have a constitutional right to spoil their grand kids!” – Anonymous

“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” – Johnny Depp.

“When a baby comes you can smell two things: the smell of flesh, which smells like chicken soup, and the smell of lilies, the flower of another garden, the spiritual garden.” – Carlos Santana

“Babies control and bring up their families as much as they are controlled by them; in fact the family brings up baby by being brought up by him.” – Erik Erikson

“If you were to open up a baby’s head – and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should – you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.” – Dave Barry

“If your baby is beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time, you’re the grandma.” – Theresa Bloomingdale

“Loving a baby is a circular business, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give the more you get and the more you get the more you feel like giving.” – Penelope Leach

Also Read: Beautiful Baby Boy Quotes

Babies are a bundle of joy, but they can also be a bundle of tension when they start crying and won’t stop. It is tremendously stressful to be responsible for a newborn, ensuring that it is fed, sleeps properly, and is well cared for. When a new baby is born, everything becomes hectic. If you know someone who has recently had a kid, or if you yourself just had a child, you understand how difficult these situations may be.

All you need at this point is something to calm you down, and what could be better than funny baby quotes to remind you why you should keep smiling and laughing at your baby even when things become tough? I can assure you that we have baby quotes that will melt your heart and quickly put a smile on your face, as well as soothe your nerves and put you in a relaxing mood. Choose your favorite funny baby quotes and sayings from this list we have for you and send them to someone you know who needs them, or read them to yourself when you need to take a break from caring for your child.

Leave a Comment